And I move to slow and I think too fast

So here I am, a week and a couple days into my Canadian adventure, and I just don't know still. I try to keep myself grounded and focused on whats going on in the moment, but it is getting to be harder and harder with every day. I'm constantly being told that I am needed back at school or that I am missing out on something, and it's just hard to remain focused with things like that constantly coming in. I mean, it is nice to know that some people actually notice that I am not around, but at the same time I feel like I should be there to help them out with the things that are going on. I have been there for them in the past and they are looking to me to help now.... I just feel like I am disappointing others.

Montreal is a nice place, big, crowded, something new. With all these new things coming at me, and the fact that I have never lived any where near a city before, you would think I would be a bit overwhelmed. The opposite is true. I took every new experience and accepted it instead of being intimidated by it. There were no big surprises, just a new place to live. I'd like to think that I have already understood how to interact up here and that I am not really that far off from interacting with people like anyone from the city normally would.

With my mind constantly wandering, I am finding myself thinking about things more than ever. I came to Montreal to further my own education and to further my understanding of everything, which is a good thing. But at the same time I feel slightly selfish for doing it. I've taken away a support, a crutch, a shoulder to lean on, a person that simply says hi every day, from so many different people, and I feel a bit guilty for that. I shouldn't by any means, but I do, and if your saying I shouldn't and don't understand why I do, then you really don't understand me.

14 weeks to rise up and be everything I should be. I just hope that when I come back, there are still people that need me.