Understanding In A....

It's been almost two years now, but the memory is still fresh in my mind. A day that couldn't go any better, but it tried to anyways. 5 friends, unaware of what might happen next. After climbing rocks, laying in the sun, playing on structures made for 5 year olds, we finally decided it was time to see where my new house was. After stopping at the house, it was decided that a shortcut would be taken to get to Alfred where we would all go for a nice swim at the lake. About a half mile down this shortcut, the day comes to an end. Tires squeel, brakes lock, tires lock, car skids, backwards is forwards, horrible screaming, I grab on and all i can say is "oh shit" before it's over. As my eyes open and I hear what I know is the sound of fear coming from my friends mouths. We all climb out of the car that now looks like the car from Back To The Future when its wheels turn to the sides and it flies. I run down the street, call 911, and wait for people to show up. When the ambulance shows up, I watch as my friends who are 17 are strapped to backboards and taken to the hospital simply because they can't legally sign that they are ok. I sit inside the ambulance and have my pulse taken, which at the time was twice the regular rate for my body to be running at. They told me if I didn't calm down, I would have to go to the hospital anyways. I lower it a bit, and I climb out only to climb into the back of a police car that takes me and my other 18 year old adventurer back to my house. The day ends there, but every day this summer I drive by the same spot. Every day, I grab tight and it is as if I relive it every day. I understand the feelings, and I understand the reasoning that I have for them.

Not really sure what this post is really saying, but I guess I can point it to the fact that if the car had gone left instead of right, if we hadn't hit the tree and instead went down into the creek, I may not be here this moment, I may not be writing these things, and I wouldn't have ever met or influenced any of the lives that I have in the last two years. Its hard to think about, but at the same time it makes me stronger. It allows me to realize how much I have done. How much I have accomplished and how much I still have left to accomplish before anything like that ever happens again.


Splintered piece of glass falls, in the seat, gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you
we followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday the same way....